A Tough Road Worth Taking!

This post was featured on Together for Adoption and written by Jedd Medefind, President of Christian Alliance for Orphans -

Last weekend, my brother and I hiked deep into the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Our mission: to re-supply my father and his two close friends who are filling a lifelong dream of hiking the John Muir Trail, 210 miles of breathtaking, rugged wilderness. Their faces glowed as they described the glories of God’s creation they’ve encountered, from Alpine meadows to granite peaks. But my father’s friend Henry, though never losing his smile, also reminded, “There’s been real pain, too.” Severe blisters, cramping legs, shoulder pain, biting hailstorms and cold to the verge of hypothermia were just a partial list. It was clear the three hikers were having the time of their lives, but pain was interwoven with the journey.

It is easy to feel it should be otherwise. Something deep inside us still recalls the world before the Fall, and joins creation in groaning at all the things that aren’t the way they should be. But this side of heaven, most anything worth doing comes with pain—care for orphans via adoption, foster care or global ministry as much as any.

Of course, keeping our roots in Scripture (from Jesus’ words about “counting the cost” to Hebrews 11:36-38) disabuses us of any fantasy that health and wealth are guaranteed compensation for faithfulness. Yet still there is a temptation to gloss over the difficult thing or just shove them under the carpet. In adoption ministry, for instance, there can be a pull toward making “ministry” mainly a “cheerleading” for Christians to adopt with little emphasis on support after the child has come home. There’s certainly a place for helping people see the beauty and purposefulness discovered in adoption and other forms of orphan care. But ultimately we need to know: there will be pain, too.

What’s tremendously heartening is that the movement of Christians committed to orphans is coming to embrace that truth. I increasingly hear church orphan ministry leaders talk about the journey—that long, often beautiful, often difficult road that comes with loving anyone for a lifetime, especially a child coming from a hard place.

My prayer is that more and more, church orphan ministry will be a place where this beauty-mixed-with-pain is shown for what it is: an inescapable reality of life in a broken world and a journey worth taking. May it be that in Church, like nowhere else, worn out foster parents, struggling adoptive families and weary orphan care workers can speak transparently about their burden. And where others can help them bear the load in discerning, well-prepared, sacrificial ways. That’s church orphan ministry—and just plain Church—at its very best."

Back to School Giveaway!

Share with us your favorite orphan care or adoption resource between now and Monday at noon, to be entered into a drawing for this set of books: Thriving as an Adoptive Family (Focus on the Family), The Connected Child, and Empowered to Connect Workbook.

Leave a comment on this blog posting or on the Lifesong Facebook fan page to be entered!

Mark your calendars!

Make your plans for...

ORPHAN SUNDAY 

November 7, 2010

From Christianity Today to Catalyst, God’s call to “defend the cause of the fatherless” is echoing in ways not seen in generations.   Orphan Sunday is your opportunity to spread this passion as part of a nationwide movement.

Each Orphan Sunday event is led by local Christians committed to the Gospel and the orphan: from Sunday School classes and sermons to student-led fundraisers and foster family recruiting.  Here is just one testimony of the thousands of lives that were touched last year by Orphan Sunday...

“Orphan Sunday at Morningside Baptist in Sioux City, IA not only became a catalyst for us to launch an orphan ministry—including a new adoption and orphan care fund—but also spurred many church members to consider adoption, including a church elder whose family will be adopting in 2010 as a result.” --Jim Reynolds, Church Elder

 Hear the personal story of a family changed forever through Orphan Sunday 2009! 

Get Started Now...

www.orphansunday.org

What is Orphan Sunday? 

Alongside local events, a national concert featuring The Desperation Band will be simulcast live from Colorado Springs to high school and college groups nationwide on the Friday of Orphan Sunday weekend. 

The 2010 campaign aims for more than 2,000 events across America the weekend of November 7^th.  The ultimate goal:  to call Christians to make the Gospel visible in adoption, foster care and global orphan ministry.  Start planning your Orphan Sunday event today! 

Don't forget to put your Orphan Sunday event on the map!

Bring healing to hurting hearts!

Introducing the Created To Connect: A Christian’s Guide to The Connected Child. 

This study guide, created by Dr. Karyn Purvis and Michael & Amy Monroe, is designed to help illuminate the biblical principles that serve as the foundation for the philosophy and interventions detailed in Dr. Purvis’ book, The Connected Child.  Together with the book, the study guide is a great tool to help adoptive and foster parents better understand how to build strong and lasting connections with their children, and is ideal for use in small groups as well as by individuals or couples.

Visit the Empowered To Connect website to download and print the entire (76 page) study guide, or view and print it chapter-by-chapter.  There is no charge for this or any of the Empowered To Connect resources, but be sure to let other adoptive and foster parents know about this new study guide.

Check out the video series here.

Dangerous Adoption

We are thankful to Paul Pennington and Hope for Orphans for their wisdom and discernment!

Dangerous Adoption

Remember that God wants to use you as an instrument of grace in the lives of your body of believers. He also wants to use that body to help you when the wheels of your life come off. Does your church have a support group for families adopting special needs children? Does your church have an orphans ministry at all? Pastor Chuck Swindoll says: “The test of our morality and theology is passed or failed by our response to the weakest and most helpless among us”. May God use you and your church as a demonstration of pure religion that is pleasing to Him.

[NOTE:  This post was originally written by Paul and Robin Pennington for the Hope for Orphans April 2010 E-Newsletter, which can be found here.]

By now you no doubt have heard about the Russian 8-year-old adoptee sent by his American adoptive mom….alone…back to Russia with a note. The repercussions of this decision on hundreds of Russian children waiting for families are devastating to be sure. What many don’t know is that failed adoptions, or disruptions as they are called, are on the rise and Christians are not immune even if it does not reach such a dramatic level. In fact, Christian families are in some ways more at risk.

Little noticed in the story of the Russian child is that his master-degreed, medical professional mom chose to pursue a “special needs” child because she wanted to get a child more quickly. It also appears that despite the routine communications of her agency post placement, she did not have an effective post adoptive support system.

This story teaches us about two very important trends in the North American adoption and orphan ministry movement.  One trend (though a very small percentage of the total number of adoptions) is negative and dangerous, the other positive and encouraging.

In an ever-increasing consumerist American church there is emerging a troubling trend — families who see adoption as a new badge of spirituality. At Hope for Orphans, we stress that those considering adoption should carefully examine their motivations before they ever begin the adoption process.

Common red flags we see are: pursuing adoption as a mission, wanting to please God as a result of sins of the past, desiring a sister or brother for a biological child, or thinking it will help a struggling marriage. Orphaned children do not want or need to be a mission, an act of atonement, a companion strategy or a marriage enhancer….no, they want and need what every child wants and needs…..a mom and dad that loves them unconditionally. Motives that are not geared towards the “unconditional” love of a child, but rather focused more on meeting a need in the parent(s) are dangerous.

It is a sign of a more “me-centered” Christianity that leads to adopting special needs children as a means of getting into the “express lane”. This sort of thinking, which minimizes or dismisses the true needs of hurt children and doesn’t take the time to count the costs, has led to an 8-year-old who sits today confused in a Russian hospital.

On the other hand, more and more there is a wonderful trend and work of God that is the counter to this very sad case. Lay leaders led by the Holy Spirit are launching orphan ministries in their local churches. Many of these new ministries are creating adoption support groups. Typically, adoptive families blessed with years of experience, come alongside new adoptive families, as mentors, coaches, crisis responders, prayer warriors and respite caregivers. This is what the Bible calls “body life”. The Scripture tells us in 1 Corinthians 12: “so that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. Now you are Christ’s body, and individually members of it.”