Dangerous Adoption

We are thankful to Paul Pennington and Hope for Orphans for their wisdom and discernment!

Dangerous Adoption

Remember that God wants to use you as an instrument of grace in the lives of your body of believers. He also wants to use that body to help you when the wheels of your life come off. Does your church have a support group for families adopting special needs children? Does your church have an orphans ministry at all? Pastor Chuck Swindoll says: “The test of our morality and theology is passed or failed by our response to the weakest and most helpless among us”. May God use you and your church as a demonstration of pure religion that is pleasing to Him.

[NOTE:  This post was originally written by Paul and Robin Pennington for the Hope for Orphans April 2010 E-Newsletter, which can be found here.]

By now you no doubt have heard about the Russian 8-year-old adoptee sent by his American adoptive mom….alone…back to Russia with a note. The repercussions of this decision on hundreds of Russian children waiting for families are devastating to be sure. What many don’t know is that failed adoptions, or disruptions as they are called, are on the rise and Christians are not immune even if it does not reach such a dramatic level. In fact, Christian families are in some ways more at risk.

Little noticed in the story of the Russian child is that his master-degreed, medical professional mom chose to pursue a “special needs” child because she wanted to get a child more quickly. It also appears that despite the routine communications of her agency post placement, she did not have an effective post adoptive support system.

This story teaches us about two very important trends in the North American adoption and orphan ministry movement.  One trend (though a very small percentage of the total number of adoptions) is negative and dangerous, the other positive and encouraging.

In an ever-increasing consumerist American church there is emerging a troubling trend — families who see adoption as a new badge of spirituality. At Hope for Orphans, we stress that those considering adoption should carefully examine their motivations before they ever begin the adoption process.

Common red flags we see are: pursuing adoption as a mission, wanting to please God as a result of sins of the past, desiring a sister or brother for a biological child, or thinking it will help a struggling marriage. Orphaned children do not want or need to be a mission, an act of atonement, a companion strategy or a marriage enhancer….no, they want and need what every child wants and needs…..a mom and dad that loves them unconditionally. Motives that are not geared towards the “unconditional” love of a child, but rather focused more on meeting a need in the parent(s) are dangerous.

It is a sign of a more “me-centered” Christianity that leads to adopting special needs children as a means of getting into the “express lane”. This sort of thinking, which minimizes or dismisses the true needs of hurt children and doesn’t take the time to count the costs, has led to an 8-year-old who sits today confused in a Russian hospital.

On the other hand, more and more there is a wonderful trend and work of God that is the counter to this very sad case. Lay leaders led by the Holy Spirit are launching orphan ministries in their local churches. Many of these new ministries are creating adoption support groups. Typically, adoptive families blessed with years of experience, come alongside new adoptive families, as mentors, coaches, crisis responders, prayer warriors and respite caregivers. This is what the Bible calls “body life”. The Scripture tells us in 1 Corinthians 12: “so that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. Now you are Christ’s body, and individually members of it.”

Lifesong Zambia

The primary objective of the Lifesong Zambia School is to teach the children to be followers of Christ!

Lifesong – Zambia is the only school in the Kitwe community working to provide Christian education and 2 meals per day to 175 children.

Click here to read more.

*** A special thanks to Kids Caring 4 Kids for their generous donation to help fund the building of new restrooms, a showerhouse, nurse & sick room at the Lifesong School in Zambia.

Summit VI Buzz Hits the Streets

Save the Date for Summit VI!

Mark your calendars now to just us in Minneapolis on April 29 & 30, 2010!

Click here for more info.

Invitation to Summit VI from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.

Need a last minute year end giving idea?

On Transracial Adoption

Justin Taylor, blogger for Between Two Worlds and The Gospel Coalition wrote this post on transracial adoption. In reading this, I quickly knew that his words were much more eloquent than mine -

We don’t regard our transracial adoption as something especially noble or sacrificial, or anything like a social statement. This is simply the way that God in his providence has designed our family to expand, and we sense his great grace in the way he has knit our family together.

But some people still wonder if transracial adoption is all that wise. What if they are called names in school? What if their friends tell our children that my wife and I are not his “real” mommy and daddy? What if our kids have an identity crisis, unable to figure out who they really are?

All of these things may indeed happen with our children. But the truth is, all of our children are going to face various forms of challenges, and we simply cannot predict with any degree of certainty what particular obstacles they will deal with. Nor can we prevent all of them.

Will our kids be eloquent and persuasive, or stammer with stage fright? Will they be the star athletes, or the class klutzes? Will they be leaders or followers? Trend setters or always one step behind? Will they be healthy or sickly? Will they be mocked for following Christ and swimming against the culture stream? We simply don’t know, and there usually does not seem to be much purpose in planning our lives around the minimization of challenges we cannot control.

It’s important to recognize that in the midst of talking about spiritual adoption, Paul listed a requirement of kingdom citizens who are to be heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ—we will receive an inheritance “provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him” (Rom. 8:17). To be a Christian is a call to suffer: “through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God” (Acts 14:22). If we’re surprised at suffering then it’s because we haven’t read our Bibles closely enough: “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you” (1 Pet. 4:12). If a disciple wants to be like his teacher, and a servant like his master, then we are going to be maligned like Jesus was (see Matt. 10:25).
Now with all of this said, no one wants to create situations of undue suffering for their children. There are times when transracial adoption may be unwise. For example, we have American friends who are in the adoption process and who will be serving in cross-cultural missions in the Middle East. Being an African American child in a white family in an Islamic country that already stigmatizes adoption would be exceedingly difficult.

As long as sin remains—this side of the return of Christ and the ushering in of the news heavens and the new earth—racism will remain. There is virtue neither in overstating or unstating this reality. But the idea of having qualms about transracial adoption (or interracial marriage) because it will create opportunities for more racial prejudice doesn’t ultimately make a lot of sense. As John Piper has commented, “It’s like the army being defeated because there aren’t enough troops, and the troops won’t sign up because the army’s being defeated.”